Coping and waiting for spring

Following the recent sad/scary/stressful events, I am happy to say that I have not only survived, but also found a way to cope with the problems in a relatively calm way. I am known to panic and overreact, but this time S and I have found solutions that gave us peace of mind. Among other things I have been able to get an interest-free credit card which will pay for the bulk of what we need to spend on the car and that unexpected debt I discovered. I have accepted that our finances this year are going to be much tighter than ever; I have looked at areas where I can save money and it looks doable to say the least.

• We won't go away on holiday this year. Sadly this means I won't get to see my family, but there's always Skype.
• I won't buy any new books - I have been known to spend a small fortune on them every now and again. Books are my guilty pleasure. But I still have a few I haven't read yet, and plenty I would love to read again. There's also the library and book swapping with friends.
• I won't buy any new plants for my garden this year; I'll either grow from seeds which I already have, or propagate from cuttings etc.
• No more ''this blogger recommended a great product, I must order it on Amazon right away''.
• We won't do birthday/Christmas presents this year.
• I won't be buying new outfits for the two weddings we've been invited to this year.
• I will be stricter about sticking to the shopping list and staying within budget.

We already do a lot of other things that save us money:

• We plan meals for 2 weeks ahead
• Always shop with a list and never hungry
• We don't eat out and very rarely get take-aways
• We cook from scratch
• We don't really go out; I am a total homebody and don't like drinking; S sometimes goes out with people from work but doesn't drink either as he always drives
• I grow a portion of our own food and top up with foraged mushrooms; S catches a lot of fish
• We hand-wash our car ourselves
• We shop around for energy/phone/insurance providers and are not fussed about ''brand loyalty''

Probably a few more things I can't think of just now, but in general we aren't new to the frugal lifestyle and I know we can make it through this year.

I feel like the coming spring is making everything just a little bit easier. I look at the tiny seedlings on my window sill, at the first daffodil in my garden, at the shy-but-determined shoots of onions and garlic making the veggie patch just a little less sad and empty, at the new leaves on my strawberry plants at the chives coming back to life after the long winter and the birds curiously hopping around, and I can't help but feel a bit more hopeful. 

Nature always perseveres and finds a way to thrive, and I will too.

A week from hell

Last week was one of the worst in my life. I have never felt so cursed before; everything that could have gone wrong - did. Apart from Monday, every day was a nightmare.

On Tuesday we had a death in the family. Dobbie, pictured above, was ''only'' a cat; not even mine but my friend's, but he was part of our family and we loved him dearly. He was my own cat's twin brother and he spent many weeks with us whenever his owners went away. He was the sweetest, most innocent gentle giant ever. The picture above was taken during his last stay with us over Christmas. He left a huge hole in my heart.

On Wednesday S was in a car accident on his way to work; in the horrible weather we've had he lost control of the car and drove into the wall pictured below. Thankfully he's ok but our car is gone. We live in a remote location and that car was our only means of getting to work, and for my partner to see his daughter. The insurance company took our car and we have to wait for a decision whether they will repair or scrap it.

On Thursday we found out that if our car gets written off (which is the most likely scenario), our insurance payout will probably be £2k short of what we still owe for the car, so we have to find that money somewhere else.

On Friday, after a 3h trip from our village on several buses and a 50 minute walk through knee-deep snow, we found out that our flight to Denmark for my birthday weekend was cancelled and we had to go back home (it was showing as ''scheduled'' up until the last minute). Without a car we couldn't plan do anything else for my birthday. We also lost part of the money we paid for that trip.

On Saturday, and this is the most horrifying one, I accidentally found out (when I registered with a credit score website) that back in 2015 there was a court case against me I knew nothing about, and I owe £4,7k to pay off my ex husband debts!!! This is extremely stressful to me, not just because of the huge amount of money I don't have, but also because I am a honest, law abiding person and I feel so extremely humiliated by this! The bastard stopped paying his rent after I moved out, and his debt has been assigned to me. I emailed the court right away explaining the situation and asking for advice on how to proceed. I am hoping to make this go away as I have evidence that I shouldn't be liable for my ex's debts (I informed the letting agency with plenty notice about me moving out, and continued to pay my rent for 3 months afterwards), but in the worst case scenario this huge amount of money will put me back a few years in my journey to being debt-free.

On Sunday - yesterday- was my birthday, certainly not a happy one. My ex, after 3 years of total silence, dared to send me an email wishing me a happy birthday and saying that he forgives me!
It was a really sad birthday. Thanks to S it wasn't completely terrible; we had cake and played board games and had my favourite Indian take away for dinner. But I couldn't forget my worries.

As of today, S, who has been my rock through all this, has to move in with his Mum who lives in the city, as that's his only chance of commuting to work. We don't know how long it will be before we can get a new car, at least 2-3 weeks, and I hate to think of spending this much time apart.

I feel defeated and completely helpless. I know S and I can get through all this together, but with him being away it's going to be so much harder.