Coping and waiting for spring

Following the recent sad/scary/stressful events, I am happy to say that I have not only survived, but also found a way to cope with the problems in a relatively calm way. I am known to panic and overreact, but this time S and I have found solutions that gave us peace of mind. Among other things I have been able to get an interest-free credit card which will pay for the bulk of what we need to spend on the car and that unexpected debt I discovered. I have accepted that our finances this year are going to be much tighter than ever; I have looked at areas where I can save money and it looks doable to say the least.

• We won't go away on holiday this year. Sadly this means I won't get to see my family, but there's always Skype.
• I won't buy any new books - I have been known to spend a small fortune on them every now and again. Books are my guilty pleasure. But I still have a few I haven't read yet, and plenty I would love to read again. There's also the library and book swapping with friends.
• I won't buy any new plants for my garden this year; I'll either grow from seeds which I already have, or propagate from cuttings etc.
• No more ''this blogger recommended a great product, I must order it on Amazon right away''.
• We won't do birthday/Christmas presents this year.
• I won't be buying new outfits for the two weddings we've been invited to this year.
• I will be stricter about sticking to the shopping list and staying within budget.

We already do a lot of other things that save us money:

• We plan meals for 2 weeks ahead
• Always shop with a list and never hungry
• We don't eat out and very rarely get take-aways
• We cook from scratch
• We don't really go out; I am a total homebody and don't like drinking; S sometimes goes out with people from work but doesn't drink either as he always drives
• I grow a portion of our own food and top up with foraged mushrooms; S catches a lot of fish
• We hand-wash our car ourselves
• We shop around for energy/phone/insurance providers and are not fussed about ''brand loyalty''

Probably a few more things I can't think of just now, but in general we aren't new to the frugal lifestyle and I know we can make it through this year.

I feel like the coming spring is making everything just a little bit easier. I look at the tiny seedlings on my window sill, at the first daffodil in my garden, at the shy-but-determined shoots of onions and garlic making the veggie patch just a little less sad and empty, at the new leaves on my strawberry plants at the chives coming back to life after the long winter and the birds curiously hopping around, and I can't help but feel a bit more hopeful. 

Nature always perseveres and finds a way to thrive, and I will too.

A week from hell

Last week was one of the worst in my life. I have never felt so cursed before; everything that could have gone wrong - did. Apart from Monday, every day was a nightmare.

On Tuesday we had a death in the family. Dobbie, pictured above, was ''only'' a cat; not even mine but my friend's, but he was part of our family and we loved him dearly. He was my own cat's twin brother and he spent many weeks with us whenever his owners went away. He was the sweetest, most innocent gentle giant ever. The picture above was taken during his last stay with us over Christmas. He left a huge hole in my heart.

On Wednesday S was in a car accident on his way to work; in the horrible weather we've had he lost control of the car and drove into the wall pictured below. Thankfully he's ok but our car is gone. We live in a remote location and that car was our only means of getting to work, and for my partner to see his daughter. The insurance company took our car and we have to wait for a decision whether they will repair or scrap it.

On Thursday we found out that if our car gets written off (which is the most likely scenario), our insurance payout will probably be £2k short of what we still owe for the car, so we have to find that money somewhere else.

On Friday, after a 3h trip from our village on several buses and a 50 minute walk through knee-deep snow, we found out that our flight to Denmark for my birthday weekend was cancelled and we had to go back home (it was showing as ''scheduled'' up until the last minute). Without a car we couldn't plan do anything else for my birthday. We also lost part of the money we paid for that trip.

On Saturday, and this is the most horrifying one, I accidentally found out (when I registered with a credit score website) that back in 2015 there was a court case against me I knew nothing about, and I owe £4,7k to pay off my ex husband debts!!! This is extremely stressful to me, not just because of the huge amount of money I don't have, but also because I am a honest, law abiding person and I feel so extremely humiliated by this! The bastard stopped paying his rent after I moved out, and his debt has been assigned to me. I emailed the court right away explaining the situation and asking for advice on how to proceed. I am hoping to make this go away as I have evidence that I shouldn't be liable for my ex's debts (I informed the letting agency with plenty notice about me moving out, and continued to pay my rent for 3 months afterwards), but in the worst case scenario this huge amount of money will put me back a few years in my journey to being debt-free.

On Sunday - yesterday- was my birthday, certainly not a happy one. My ex, after 3 years of total silence, dared to send me an email wishing me a happy birthday and saying that he forgives me!
It was a really sad birthday. Thanks to S it wasn't completely terrible; we had cake and played board games and had my favourite Indian take away for dinner. But I couldn't forget my worries.

As of today, S, who has been my rock through all this, has to move in with his Mum who lives in the city, as that's his only chance of commuting to work. We don't know how long it will be before we can get a new car, at least 2-3 weeks, and I hate to think of spending this much time apart.

I feel defeated and completely helpless. I know S and I can get through all this together, but with him being away it's going to be so much harder.

''Fresh'' supermarket produce

I harvested my potatoes in September/October. I didn't have any fancy storage facilities. I still have a few left and they are still perfectly edible if getting a little wrinkled. They have only just started sprouting, 5 months later, as Nature intended, and I'll be replanting them next month.

Shop bought potatoes sprout within less than a week, and are sometimes black/bruised inside. I have recently gone through two bags of supermarket potatoes, and had a massive amount of waste from all the grey/black bits. Disgusting!

Makes you wonder how bloody old they are??

Well, the answer to that, apparently, is anything up to 12 months! Even ''new'' potatoes can be as old as 7 months! I never knew that and I'm really disgusted... And of course it's not just potatoes. It makes me realise the value of growing my own even more...

On emotional abuse (long read)

This blog was supposed to be my place to talk about the good things in life. But lately, in between the good moments, I have been struggling with my emotions and anxieties and if I'm honest I really need to vent.

I have always suffered from social anxiety and I have always been very emotional. I don't want to go on about how it's been affecting my life lately. I want to talk about the underlying cause.

I want to talk about my relationship with my mum.  She had me at 21 as a university student; completely unprepared for starting a family. She never hid the fact that I was unwanted and she always rejected me; sometimes (I think) subconsciously and without realising that I could absorb those emotions even if I didn't understand them as a baby or toddler. She didn't want me so bad that  at one point she gave me away to her mum/ my gran, and it wasn't until my dad started protesting against other people raising his child that my parents got me back.

My mum always told me what a terrible obstacle I was to her life plans. How much she suffered because of me. And I spent my entire childhood and youth apologising for my existence; trying to earn her acceptance, her affection - but I was never good enough. I was literally the best student in my primary school, but my mum always said I could have done better. I was the quietest, most obedient child you could imagine, but my mum would always find faults in me, the most common ones being ''why don't you ever smile'' and ''stop being so shy''. It's true that I was extremely shy as a child. I still have social anxiety, but have by now learnt to live with it. Back in my early primary school days though I was paralysed by fear whenever my mum made me go to the shop or to the doctor's by myself. But the more I cried about it, the angrier my mum got.

She would always find ways to humiliate me, and disguise it as ''good advice'' or ''motivation''. I vividly remember a photo of me (not the one below) taken when I was 12 or 13. I was standing in our garden under a pear tree on a beautiful summer day, smiling and looking happy. I was wearing shorts. My mum refused to put that picture in the photo album, because ''my thighs looked too fat'' in it. It was the last time in my life I wore anything short. On a side note, I was never fat as a child. I was perfectly normal, as evidenced by many photos. But I always believed I was too fat - I must have been if mum said so. I became overweight as an adult in my mid 20's and I can't help but wonder if I'm just filling out the image of myself that my mum made me build in my head.

I remember so many similar stories throughout the first 19 years of my life... There was the time when my cousin, who's my age, stayed with us during the summer holidays. My mum would take her shopping, buy her stuff, take her places, always leaving me behind and making me feel like she wished my cousin was her daughter, not me. Then there was the day my mum, who at the time was my primary school teacher, humiliated me in front of the entire class and kicked me out of the room, because I was answering her questions before the other kids got a chance (that was me trying to prove to her that I was better than others and make her like me).

I was never allowed to be seen when my parents had guests round.
I was never allowed to play with my dolls, all of which my mum hung up on my bedroom wall and I was only allowed to look at them. The only permitted toys were books.
I was never allowed to speak unless I was spoken to.
I was never allowed to trust my feelings, e.g. when I was no longer hungry but had to finish my dinner, or when I was deeply hurt but wasn't allowed to cry.

The most painful side of it all was that whenever I showed any weakness, i.e. cried, she would dismiss and/or ridicule my feelings; tell me I'm all ''slimy'' and wash my face with cold water, and complain about having such a stupid, useless child.

All of this has left a giant mark on my personality. I have huge difficulties in making friends, or human interaction in general. I have no confidence and very little self esteem. I am not assertive; I need constant validation; I work hard not because I like it but because I need an excuse for my existence. I have this weird inner anger towards children, because I think deep inside I'm jealous that ''everyone loves kids'' while I was the only one who didn't deserve love. I have had difficulties in my relationships with men; it's a miracle that I have eventually found one who has enough love and patience to put up with my issues.

I have always wanted to see a psychologist. This is no joke; as a child I asked my mum several times if I could see one, but I was just told to stop being ridiculous. Finally at 34 I decided that enough is enough and I need to fix my head before I fall apart.

I recently started therapy and it wasn't until a few days ago that I realised that the way my mum treated me was emotional abuse. Whether she did it consciously or whether she had the best intentions I will never know, but it doesn't really matter - it doesn't change anything. There is no nice way to put it. I was emotionally abused by my mum and I now suffer the consequences of it. My mum doesn't know about my therapy and I have no intention of telling her - or ever confronting her about this. It wouldn't help either of us.

My therapist believes I can get better. I want to get better - for myself and for my relationship. I feel that this is my last chance.

What I was grateful for in 2017

Instead of new year's resolutions I thought I'd much rather reflect on the wonderful things that happened in my life in 2017. I think good changes can and should be made any time we feel inspired to make them, not just on the 1st of January... But it never hurts to practice a little gratefulness and look back at the good things we've already been blessed with!


DOING UP OUR HOUSE 

Our house still needs a lot of work done, but we are getting there! In 2017 we managed to repaint the entire hallway, which we didn't think we would be able to do on our own due to the height of our staircase. But we managed and the resulting bright white walls make the house look so much brighter and cleaner. We have also added to our furniture, making the house feel more homely, and started looking at kitchens and carpets.


GARDENING SUCCESS

2017 was my first full year of real gardening (as opposed to growing things on the window sill which I had done in the past). I grew a huge (considering my lack of experience and the smallish size of my garden) variety of vegetables, herbs and fruit; mostly with success. My garlic crop was particularly successful - I still have plenty to see me through until summer!


PERSONAL FINANCES

I got a nice payrise in 2017, and around the same time S got a new and better-paid job. This meant that we've been able to pay off some of our debts quicker and we are much closer to being debt free!


NEW PASSION

I've always had interest in photography, but it wasn't until Christmas 2017 that Santa brought me a brand new professional Canon camera, together with a set of different lenses and a book to help me understand all the features. It gives me so much joy and I'm so proud of some of the photos I've taken, even though half the time I still don't know what I'm doing!

GOOD HEALTH

In 2017 I finally got my blood pressure under control and have been feeling a lot better - no more headaches! In May I gave up all wheat products and reduced the amount of carbohydrates I eat - this has lead to some weight loss (not dramatic, but it wasn't the main goal), increased general wellbeing and discovery of many new, wonderful recipes, such as my favourite multigrain, flourless bread.


BOUNTIFUL NATURE

2017 was the best year for mushrooms I've had in the past decade. We ate the last of our frozen chantarelles on Christmas Eve, but we still have A LOT of frozen and dried birch boletes. In spring we had some wonderful wild garlic, and in late summer - wild raspberries, blackberries and a small amount of blueberries.

I can't wait to see what 2018 brings!

Autumn state of mind

It's the middle of August, everything in the garden is lush, green and abundant - and as a gardener, this is what I had been waiting for all those months. But today's cold, rainy and windy weather brought on a sudden longing for Autumn coziness. 

When I sat in my chair today, in my warm jumper and with a hot cup of tea warming my hands, I remembered how much I love long October evenings, the cliché-yet-delightful pairing of hot drinks and good books, gentle sound of rain and flickering candles. 

Also, I have found a few mushrooms this month. The picture above is of the lovely birch boletes I found on my way home from work last week. To me, this means Autumn is just around the corner and I will soon be picking basketfulls of mushrooms every weekend! That's another thing I really look forward to: long walks in the forest, foraging for all those wonderful fungi.

As much as I want to be in the moment and enjoy the summer while it lasts, on a day like this I just can't help but think about the coming months... It really does feel like mid-October today. Stay warm everyone!

Our new house: 1 year later

We bought our house last July. After many years of renting, getting the keys to our new home was a very emotional moment for both of us. Even though the house needed a fair amount of work done to suit our needs and aesthetics, it was love at first sight and the beginning of a great adventure.

There's still many things needing done, replaced or refreshed here. We have a tight budget and have only been able to do so much. But the house is definitely liveable; we have done a great deal of painting (the previous owners had painted the master bedroom blood-red; we changed it to soothing blue. The living room was 3 different shades of metallic paint; it's now all white with just 1 grey accent wall), we've replaced dark wooden blinds with light curtains, but the biggest change has happened in the garden. A big chunk of it has been transformed into a very productive fruit & vegetable garden; the pond has been removed (for safety reasons - we loved it otherwise!), the back fence has been replaced; part of the monoblock has been removed (and partially used to build a BBQ). We won't stop there - we still have a few projects in mind :-)

This was our living room a year ago (note the silver, gold and purple metallic paint):

And here it is now:

The garden last July:

And today:

We still need to replace the carpets throughout the house; hire somebody to paint the staircase (the only bit of painting we can't do ourselves); in a few years time - replace the kitchen; maybe one day install a wood burner in the living room.. I could go on. It will take us years to do it all, but it's an awesome journey and we've been loving every part of it!

Gardening for the soul

I recently read an article that got me thinking about how incredibly important my garden is to me, not just as a hobby or a potential source of fresh food, but as a way of re-connecting with myself and healing my anxieties and taking my worries away.

 ''I felt like the world around me was a dangerous sea and my garden was a little green life raft. I cut a new, long bed out of the grass. I worked the soil until I couldn’t find a sliver of weed root. I barrelled tons of compost and poured it all over the garden to improve the structure of the heavy clay. I sowed seeds, bought more herbaceous perennials than I could afford, and scarified the grass like a man possessed. As I worked on the garden the garden worked on me.''

[Source: Tom Smart / The Guardian / https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/gardening-blog/2016/jan/22/gardening-is-the-best-medicine-for-the-mind ]

I couldn't have put that better myself. As I work on my garden, my garden works on me. That's it.

Over the last 2 weekends S and I built two new raised beds, filled them with nearly 4 tonnes of soil, built a frame for anti-bird netting, planted potatoes and broadbeans and nurtured countless seedlings on the window sills. Most of that was hard, physical work, but it didn't just give me sore muscles. It cured a severe headache I had been dealing with for four days, it gave me a sense of accomplishment and made me feel re-connected with nature and with myself. It made me feel found, as opposed to feeling lost. I was there and then, grounded in the moment, doing something I find deeply meaningful. Getting my hands dirty and my soul clean. Healing.

Birthday reflections

It was my birthday earlier this month. I had a lovely day, S always comes up with the nicest surprises and this year again he made it perfect. I felt loved and soo lucky!

But birthdays are no longer just fun celebrations to me; they're also milestones and make me reflect on the past year and my life in general.

I have so much to be grateful for in my life. I have the most amazing partner, great friends and family, two gorgeous cats, and as of recently I also have my own dream home and garden. I have a job that pays my bills, I have my passions that make me happy, I only have minor health issues that are easily kept under control. 

But there's been a shadow hanging over all this, something that can easily take everything I have away from me. The current political situation in the UK (Brexit) means I've been living in fear over the past several months. As a EU citizen living in the UK I really don't like the way things are going, with the government constantly refusing to guarantee the rights of people like me. My entire life I've been building here for the past 11 years can be taken away with one political decision. People say it's unlikely that they make people leave the country - fair enough, but until there is an actual guarantee anything can happen. And the slightest risk of losing my home and family makes me sick with fear (for reasons I will keep to myself, in case I wasn't allowed to stay in the UK, my family will literally fall apart as S will not be able to leave with me). 

S was considerate enough to put music on in the car on my birthday instead of the usual radio station, so I didn't get upset listening to the news. I don't think about this all the time, I'd lose my mind if I did, but it's always somewhere at the back of my mind, easily provoked. This overwhelming fear of losing everything I've got and never seeing my family again.

I am prone to exaggeration, drama and depression, so I've been told. To me it's more about hoping for the best but preparing for the worst... Although how do you prepare for this?

Sad, sad times.

A childhood memory

Source: https://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/photos/medium/123890316.jpg

I was thinking about my garden the other day, and out of a sudden a memory of the garden in my childhood home popped to my mind. 

When I was little, my parents, both young teachers just a couple of years out of university, got jobs in a primary school and a preschool in a small village (pictured above) not far from where I was born. The jobs came with a house: a very old, neglected, pre-WWII house typical for that part of the country, which had been German up until the end of the war. The house was attached to the primary school; in the picture below the school building can be seen on the left, the house is in the middle, and the building on the right is a barn.

I spend most of my childhood there, from the age of 5 to 18. 

Source: an old German postcard

There was a really big garden there, probably four times the size of the garden I have now. We had a huge strawberry patch, with probably about 100 plants; several black, red and white currant bushes (white was my favourite!), a large Japanese quince bush, five or six peach trees, a very old and huge pear tree, loads of tomatoes, courgettes and cucumbers (all out in the garden, no greenhouse!), wild strawberry bushes dotted all over the place and probably many other things I can no longer remember. The gate was guarded by a giant mulberry tree, very popular with all the school kids. Behind the garden, there was a large and old orchard, a real jungle after many years of neglect. We had apple and plum trees there. I remember sitting high up on a branch and eating apples straight from the tree!

Being a kid, my only job in that garden was weeding (and harvesting - but that was pure pleasure!). I didn't realise it at the time, but my parents must have put an awful lot of work into it - the soil was very poor and sandy (the opposite of the heavy clay I have now); I remember them making buckets of nettle 'tea' and getting bags of manure from the nearby farm to improve it. In addition, the hot and dry summers meant long hours of expensive watering. My parents were both raised in cities, without much gardening knowledge or experience, so they learnt everything on the go. It is only now that I have my own garden that I can fully comprehend the importance of all the hard work they did - and I can sort of understand why, when my parents moved to the house they live in now, my mum decided not to grow any more vegetables and only keeps ornamentals now.

It's a very fond memory, as are all my memories from that time. I don't think I fully appreciated it when I was a kid, but it was a truly great place to live, and I think deep inside that was the reason I always wanted to move back to the countryside. I am so happy that dream has now come true!

Christmas preparations: planning my Christmas Eve menu

Our area got its first snow fall of the season the other day. I couldn't help but think about Christmas... Every year in early November I like to sit down with my cook books and plan my Christmas Eve menu.  And with all the snow outside my window, it felt like the perfect moment to do just that.

I feel like I have the best of both worlds: where I come from, it is Christmas Eve that's celebrated with an elaborate meal. Where I live, it's Christmas Day - and I get to experience both. We usually host the Christmas Eve supper in our house, and then enjoy Christmas Day lunch at my partner's Mum's with my Scottish family.

The traditional Polish Christmas Eve supper, Wigilia, consists of 12 dishes. Each family has their own favorites, there are many options and variations to choose from, however all dishes are either fully vegetarian or fish based. The most traditional things you are almost guaranteed to find on the table are: beetroot soup, herring, carp fish (not in my house though as I'm not a fan!), a dish with cabbage and/or sauerkraut, a dish with wild mushrooms and a dish (most likely a dessert) with poppy seeds (though we won't be having it this year; trying something new instead!). 

Over the years, I have come up with my own list of staples that I cannot do without; some are the dishes I remember from my family home; others I have added out of my own initiative or adapted to suit our tastes. Every year I like to add one or two new things, and if they work, they get to stay for good, or come back every other year. 

So I got out my most trusted cook books and started planning. I have a wonderful book that was given to me several years ago - Swedish Christmas Cooking by Leif Mannerström. While in Sweden they traditionally include a lot of meaty dishes in their menu, the book has a multitude of fish recipes, most importantly salmon and herring, which I love. 

These books, a small chunk of my cook book collection, come out every year to help me with my menu planning.

After nearly 3 hours of planning, I came up with the following menu. It has a number of very traditional dishes in it, but also features a salmon dish which I have only been making for 4 or 5 years, as well as a couple of completely new things.

ROUND I

1. Barszcz

clear beetroot soup

2. Uszka

mini dumplings with wild mushroom filling

ROUND II

3. Grilled salmon fillet

served with fried apples and roast potatoes

ROUND III

4. Gubbröra

Swedish herring salad

5. Gypsy herring 

traditional herring salad with tomato sauce, pickled mushrooms, peppers and gherkins

6. Krokiety

croquettes filled with sauerkraut, wild mushrooms and onion

7. Potato salad

with hard-boiled eggs, peas and carrots

8. Beans with kale

butter beans baked with kale and spices

9. Fried cabbage

with wild mushrooms, cranberries and spices

ROUND IV

10. Yule log

11. Creamy baked cheesecake

12. Coconut macaroons

drizzled with milk chocolate

It is a lot of dishes and it's all made from scratch - but I will be able to make a couple of things in advance and freeze them. The rest will be made the day before or on the day. It's a lot of work but it's also great fun and probably the thing I love the most about Christmas. It always brings back my childhood memories... In my family home, my Dad would make majority of the savory dishes, while my Mum and I made all the desserts and the remaining savory ones. I remember all the peeling, chopping and stirring, for hours and hours, as it wasn't just 12 dishes, but in huge amounts, too. 

My Scottish family (my partner's siblings, parents and grandparents) have always been very gracious about my tradition, and my S has fully embraced it. It's not the first time that I feel blessed to be able to combine my own tradition with his, and experience and celebrate both. 

The salmon recipe in my Swedish Christmas Cooking book.

A number of traditional recipes in my Polish cook book.

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The first snow fall this season!

Road trip to Mull

Scotland is so beautiful. Last weekend we went on a road trip to Isle of Mull - not our first time; we have friends who live there and visit them a couple of times a year. Almost the entire way from our house up to Oban is incredibly scenic, and this time of the year the views were just breathtaking, especially that the weather was perfect. In Oban we went to an awesome place called The Oban Chocolate Company, for some of the best chocolate treats I have ever tasted. Then we took the ferry to Craignure (Isle of Mull), and spent two nights on the island. Here are some of the pictures I took on our way up, and on Mull. We couldn't help but stop several times on our way to admire the views!

Loch Lomond

Loch Lomond

Loch Long

Loch Long

Loch Fyne

Loch Fyne

Oban

Oban - The Chocolate Company. I had a hazelnut and coconut hot chocolate with double choclate Belgian waffles... It was heaven.

Picturesque shipwrecks on Isle of Mull

I wouldn't be myself if I didn't check out the forests on Mull

Rams watching us curiously

It was a beautiful trip. We got to see a lot of wildlife: seals in Loch Long, three fallow deer in the forest (they were huge!!), a polecat and an otter on the road, and several types of birds.
We planned to go via Glencoe on our way back for even more breathtaking views, but just as we were about to board the 11am ferry on Sunday morning, our car battery went. We eventually got it sorted with the help of kind people, but the next ferry off the island was not until 5pm - by that time it was already dark and there was no point going the Glencoe way as we wouldn't have been able to see anything. Hopefully next time! Glencoe is amazing any time of the year.

All Hallows' Eve

Where I come from, there are no carved pumpkins or trick-or-treating on the 31st October. Instead, we get ready for All Saints' Day, the 1st November, which happens to be a bank holiday: we buy bunches of chrysanthemums and multi-packs of grave lanterns. Then, on the 1st November, we visit the graves of our loved ones to leave the flowers and lanterns, think about those who are no longer with us and maybe say a prayer for their souls. Most people do that in the morning, hoping to avoid the biggest crowds and packed car parks, but I like to go after dark. The thousands of lit candles and lanterns give a truly magical, if slightly spooky, effect. If anyone has candles to spare, they put them on the most neglected graves nobody visits, so that every soul has at least one candle burning for it. It's all very beautiful, in a sad way...

Where I live now, the tradition is very different, and I don't have any family graves to visit here if I wanted to. I do like Halloween; I enjoy all the horror films on TV, I like the dressed-up kids touring the neighbourhood, and I absolutely love all the pumpkins. We carved our Jack-o-Lantern last night! Still, I can't help but think of all my loved ones who have passed away. Cherish all the good memories, let go of the bad ones, if any. This memento mori is a good opportunity to slow down and think about the most important things in life. I like the reflective nature of All Saints Day. And I do like that Halloween is a less serious counterweight to it. I feel very lucky to be able to experience both.

Another week gone

View from our back garden

This has been a busy week, at work and otherwise. Autumn in full swing, generously spreading beautiful colours and offering gorgeous views, such as the one above. 

My garlic has finally arrived, but I'm not happy with it at all. The variety is called 'Provence Wight', so I thought it would be sent from somewhere in the UK, but it turned out the seller was based in China. That's why it took 22 days to arrive! The bulbs were wrapped in plastic, got all moist in transit, and started sprouting and growing roots. I had no idea if they were still suitable for autumn planting, but I gave it a try - they're all in the ground. I am not expecting much, I imagine they will die over the winter, but it was better than throwing them away.

Ever since the farmer who owns the field behind our house harvested his barley, we've been getting visitors on the other side of our fence. Lots and lots of cows! They're quite friendly and lovely to look at. 

We've been to Lanark Loch recently - we took a walk around the loch and had a look in the surrounding woods for mushrooms. We didn't find many - maybe 4 or 5 - but one of them was so huge it probably weighed about 350g on its own. I sliced them all and added to the bag of mushrooms in my freezer - it's getting really big!

Lanark Loch's swans

We went to the cinema on Wednesday night to see Inferno, based on Dan Brown's latest book. I absolutely loved the book and was so looking forward to seeing the film! But I have never been more disappointed with a book-to-film adaptation. I had expected minor changes - after all, film is a very different medium so things have to be adjusted - and that was all fine. But they also completely changed the ending! I won't go into details and spoilers, but I had not expected them to turn the ending around like that, and I really did not like it. 

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Christmas is less than 2 months away. Shops are full of decorations, ''gift ideas'' and Christmas issues of all the magazines. We are planning to shop for presents for all the kids in the family very soon, to avoid the madness closer to the time (and to spread the cost!). I usually start thinking about my Christmas menu in early November - we have a few staples, but I usually try to include something new every year. We expect around 10 people at our table this year. This will be our first Christmas in our new house, and first Christmas ever for our cat Banjo, which worries me a little because he is definitely going to climb the Christmas tree. Our other cat Diuna has never tried that and we've never had any issues, but with Banjo it's pretty much guaranteed. He loves climbing and has already conquered all the spots in our house I thought were out of his reach. And he is definitely going to steal the tree decorations too. This should be fun!

Resident mice

We spotted this little guy not long after we moved in to our house. He was very curious and not at all scared of us - he let us get very close before he run away. We guessed he lived under our decking. Last week I saw him again (or one of his family, who can tell!) and he actually let me stroke him (!!!) a couple of times before he walked away. I am absolutely in love with this sweet tiny face!

We have two cats in our household, so I always thought mice would stay away, but as the days started to get much colder, the mice moved from under the decking into our house. They're in the walls so we don't see them, but we can certainly hear lots of tiny feet running around. This drives the cats mental as they can hear them much better than we do, but can't see or catch them! They jump at walls and floors, knowing something's there, but not being able to see anything. Looks like we have a few interesting months ahead of us.

I know some people hate mice, but we're not that bothered. They will never venture out of their hiding places as I'm sure they can smell the cats and wouldn't risk their lives like that. They were here before us, and if they need shelter for the winter months, that's fine by us!

Afternoon walk

I went for a walk this afternoon and was so awed by the beautiful autumn colours that I had to take pictures. Leaves, branches, fungi, berries, moss and lichens, with a thousand shades of green, brown, yellow and red and so many different textures and shapes. The beauty and perfection of nature always amazes me. A picture is worth a thousand words so here are the photos I took...